Moving Forward

I need encouragement to stay on task when it comes to pouring into The Word else I begin to make excuses and not maintain reading devotions.

I think we all can lose traction on pouring into The Word and I don’t understand exactly why.  I have just returned from a Salvation Army Men’s retreat in Gibsons BC and feel refreshed but I usually lose traction after and fizzle out.  I personally think it comes down to fear or how my life might change,  how God might challenge me and then there are the possible Autism Spectrum Disorder issues.  

My son was diagnosed with High Functioning Autistic and I think I am to and my father possible is too,  just some of my issues as a kid are things he and other kids on the spectrum had,  I used to make random sounds for no real reason and I remember doing it,  mum ignored it but as I have learned more and spoke to other parents who have kids on the spectrum its a possible behaviour to self-regulate.  My father dropped out of school,  worked on a farm which is an extremely structured job with set times and routine,  and a job isolating you from social interactions.

Family camp was the time that this seemed to fall into place and allowed me to be less resentful of my dad’s stoic nature growing up.

Oscar Roan was the speaker and he talked about a time in your life your not proud of and keep returning to,  he compared the opening episodes of Deep Space Nine series were Sisko returned to the death of his wife and had not moved beyond it,  time was linear but in his emotional and spiritual walk he remained at that point. 

Oscar Roan used a chair to illustrate the point we all can be stuck at and I had one.  This camp I cast my chair into the fire,  the place I come back to in my mind,  a time in my life I an not proud of that pulls me back into sinful ways.  A crossroads in my life that I had a choice and in hindsight, I made the right choice and Jesus was there by my side although at the time I did not see that.  I feel I don’t need to openly discuss the details for God knows these and has enabled me to forgive myself and move on.

During a session at Camp, I got the words, action, movement, forward but not a direction as to where or to what but its pretty clear to me that it’s into His Word and His Arms.

I have put together a Facebook Messenger group of some people who can keep me on task,  support me and lift me up and we can share my Walk with and then with me and I contacted the person running the Cell group to basically Nag me and make sure I am present at ongoing Bible Studies.

I have some apps on my phone and eSword on my PC and want to intentionally use the 10/20 minutes before work to do a devotion.

I also pick up my son from school each day,  a good time to listen to a podcast, a reading,  something to keep me on task. 

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